Woof! (Shades of Bailey)

During the summer of 2015, colleague Melanie Chambers and I embarked on “The July Project.”

Nutshelll: every day, we went somewhere different in our own backyard (Melanie in greater Toronto; yours truly in Southwest NS) and posted our daily adventures with photos on our websites.

Major undertaking. Major learning experience. Major good time drizzled with dozens of aha! moments.

Eventually, The July Project morphed into Waking Up In My Own Backyard. The book had a good run. However, as Nimbus no longer has any in stock, and Pottersfield Press does not have the original manuscript (sad story), there won’t be any more printed. That’s OK, but I still have the the PDF version and decided to share the PDF for free. (You might consider a donation to your local food bank or charity.) Interested? Just get in touch.

Meanwhile, I’m working on a collection of essays for Pottersfield. That will likely take another year to complete. Then, I plan to self-publish a book loosely titled: From Bailey’s Point Of View. Some of you will recall the day Barrie and I picked up this fat furry creature from Virginia Smith, a Great Pyrenees breeder in Weymouth.

Shortly after getting out of the car in Canaan, Bailey then took over my Facebook account posting photos and irreverent notes in his loveable, sassy style. By the end of hist first year, Bailey weighed 135 pounds. Although he was crazy about canoeing, he hated the water and loathed getting wet. Bailey was curious, fun loving, and adored our grandkids whom he called The Little People. This giant white canine referred to me as Tattoo Lady (or TL) and to Barrie as Bearded Man (or BM). For sure, Bailey had “attitude” … and a heart as big as Canada.

Here are a few random posts that the book will include. I’m aiming to release it in 2027. Could use some help with finding the right title for the book.

* * *

So I rolled in coyote poop on our walk today. Tattoo Lady said I couldn’t go in the house without getting cleaned up. I told her rolling in shit is good for you, adding. “Could change your life.” TL was not amused. In case you are wondering why dogs like to roll around in the smelly stuff, Google a BBC article by Richard Gray titled: “The many reasons why dogs might roll in smelly poo.” He does a pretty decent job. The ending was my favourite; he quotes someone who responded to the question “Why do dogs roll in poo?” Answer: “Because they are poo-ches?” Heheh.

WOOF!

* * *

Learned a new word this week—INANE. Some dictionary meanings: silly, foolish, stupid, idiotic, ridiculous, absurd, moronic, ditzy, daft. I especially like the last two meanings. Suits you-know-who to a T. Anyway, as you all know, I don’t have to be asked twice to go for a canoe ride. But Tattoo Lady comes up with the most inane things to say. Like this afternoon. As soon as I get into the canoe the conversation goes like this:

“Bailey, sit.”

“I know, I know. You’ve said that 100 times.”

“Not there.”

“What do you mean, not there? I’m sitting.”

“You’re sitting on the thwart Bailey.”

“What’s a thwart?”

“It’s something you are not supposed to sit on.”

“That doesn’t explain a thing. What’s a thwart?”

“It braces the canoe and holds the sides together. It’s not meant to sit on.”

“Why?”

“It could break. SO MOVE YOUR FAT ARSE BAILLEY!”

“You don’t have to holler. And you could ask nicely.”

“OK Bailey, please move your lovely bum.”

See? Those are the kinds of inane conversations we have. But I love her just the same. And it was the most perfect sunrise. I just wish sunrises lasted forever.

Woof!

* * *

Well, I got a little flack yesterday because I chewed a chew toy to rat shit. It’s like this: Sensing I may get an earful (we dogs know these things) I closed my eyes when I saw Tattoo Lady coming out of the house, hoping she couldn’t see me. (I couldn’t see her!) 

“Look what you’ve done!”

“What do you mean? Can’t you tell I can’t see?”

“Bailey, don’t be dense! Open your eyes! What’s in your mouth?”

“Dear woman, take a closer look. It’s a chew toy!”

“I know it’s a chew toy. But look what you’ve done!”

“Hmm, chewed the chew toy? Not sure why you’re flapping your gums about this.”

She stopped dead in her tracks, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Right. Chew toy. Made for chewing,” turned on her heel and walked away.

Some days it takes awhile for folks to connect the dots around here, but hey! Everyone’s trainable!

Woof!

* * *

The Little People are here! The Little People are here! I can hardly breathe for joy. But … can anyone explain to me why they are so hard to herd? I’m exhausted trying to keep an eye on both of them at the same time.

And do they ever squeal a lot! My poor ears. For some reason or other whenever I get up close to give them a sniff or a lick, they squeal like little pigs. The next time they visit I’ll get earplugs. Meanwhile, I’m crazy-madly-over-my-head-in-love with these curious creatures. I love them more than ham bones.

PS.  Although I was a happy dog to see my photo on the cover of TL’s  Waking Up book,  she didn’t give me much ink. However, I wrangled a promise from her. She’s going to write a WHOLE book about me some day. Just think. I might become famous like Old Yeller, Tin-Tin, Beautiful Joe, Lassie, or White Fang. Wish I had met them.

Woof!

* * *

… and so it goes.